Dec 20th

Tomorrow is the end of the world. I hope not. If it was I would be with my family tonight. Today has been a slow day, I got up early and didn't sleep much the night before. I feel okay. Getting tired. I been looking at jobs and getting a résumé together. It hard at this point to know what is going to happen. It's hard to plan my future and make life changing decisions. I wish days like these I could do more to make my way towards my family. I wish that we could get all done with so I know what is going to happen and what I need to do. Wasting my time away from my family is a cruel punishment. But God knows best, He knows my heart and intentions. This is part of my process. I had a pretty emotional night. Lying awake thinking about everything. I was scared about everything going on. It felt sometimes as if the walls were closing in, it also didn't help it was as hot as hades in my room. I was alone. My good wife was a work and provided as much company as she could, I do not know what I would do without her. We are going to have family scripture study tonight, it will be the first one on one scripture study. I am pretty excited. It is long over due and I am trying to fulfill my duties as husband and father to protect and oversee my family's physical and spiritual welfare. I am trying to improve. I am going to keep this blog short, I feel emotionally drained today. Probably why I have not done as whole lot today. I love my Savior. I love my wife. I love my son. 2/4ever