Dec 10

Been up early studying for tests. I took one this afternoon. I think it went pretty well considering everything. I reread a letter, I cannot type on my phone anymore, its makes me write super choppy and the phone auto corrects everything so it sometimes doesn't make sense. I am feeling more hopeful that things will work out. I have everything to lose and I have to constantly fight back those thoughts that I will lose it all. I know where my heart is. I know what I want. I know that I can do it. But I also know that I can't do it alone. I need God. I need my family. I will not have my life void of my son and wife. They mean to much to me. I know that I have a ways until I can earn back their trust and love, but there is nothing I want more. I want a chance. I am hopeful that I will have that chance. I will just have to constantly remind myself. There is nothing I would not do to be with them. Today I finished an exam so that I am one step and one day closer to being able to support and be with them. One day at a time. I will get there. My heart and soul belongs to them. It is theirs for the taking. I should probably go to sleep. I am going to be up early to take another test before noon. I love my wife. I love my son. 2/4ever