Jan 8th

After many attempts to write this one will be posted. I have tried to write but either my words were cut short or my phone deleted my writings before I saved the posts.
Tonight is the last night I will spend in our home. It has been a blessing and a curse to stay here. Overall it has been a big blessing. It has take the edge of reality for a moment. It has given he a false sense of security, there are moments when any minds believe any second my wife and son are going to walk through that door and this nightmare will be over. I am surrounded by our things in our home. I am where I am supposed to be. I am where I need to be. I am where I want to be. This should never of happened, and I am determined to make this situation right. It will be difficult to leave again, being alone in a strange place. Not laying my head down next to where my wife head should be. But it will be comforting to know that my family is close to me again. That they are where they are supposed to be, waiting for me to do what I need to do to change and repent so that I can walk in that door again. I know life will never be as it was. It will be different, but I can chose what that difference is. For better or worse. I chose better. I want m life to be different for the better and with my family again. I love them so much! This is cut short. I love my Savior. I love my wife. I love my son. 2/4ever!