First day if school. First day of another career. Two months since I have seen my son. The latter hurts the worse. I have been a wreck. It feels like it has been a year. But saying or thinking it has only been two months make it seem as time has slowed, but at the same time kills me thinking I have not seen my son for two complete months. Almost half of his life. Pictures and video take a small edge of but I long to hold him and tell him how much I love him. I want to see his smile again. I want to make baby faces and baby talk. I just want to be with my family again. It's cruel punishment. I know that I cannot be with him right now for his safety. But it doesn't stop my heart and soul from loving and missing them. It was never a malicious act. That is not me. I fel so ashamed and disgraced that I could ever do anything like that. I think I was the most surprised and hurt of anyone. I cannot allow one moment to define me or my character. I must learn and resolve my stress to strengthen my character. I love my family too much to lose them because of my weakness. They mean everything to me. It has been two months since I have seen my son and almost four weeks wife I have seen my wife. Every minute hurts that I am not allowed to see them. A broken heart is a cruel punishment.
I am grateful that tomorrow I will see my wife. We are attending a counseling session. I wish I could see my son also but i will take anything I can get right now. My wife mean so much to me, she is the best mother for my child. There is no one else I trust completely to raise him. I wish I could be there. And I will but it will not be as soon as I want. I love her soo much and wish I could do more for her and my son. Enrolling in classes and finding a job will help me fill the desire but it will be sorely inadequate. But it will have to do for now.
I love my Savior. I love my wife. I love my son. 2/4ever
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